healing of relationships, and maintaining them, in exactly the same way it approaches any imbalance in the body and mind: at the root level. The heart is the seat of emotions, and the words we speak to our spouse and children, unless rooted in feeling, can do a lot of harm.
Think for a moment, when you begin to speak to your spouse about things that are on your mind, how do you begin? Do you say, "You . . .", or "Why do you always . . .?", or "I'm so tired of . . .", or "Don't you love me any more?"
Your comments often reveal your own state of physical, mental, or emotional imbalance. Because there are so many possible reasons that our relationships might be out of balance, Ayurveda focuses of the balm that makes a person feel whole again, within themselves: meditation, aromas, music, massage, herbal treatment, proper diet, exercise and detoxification.
When you use these therapies daily in your life, you are able to approach others in more loving, whole ways. Why? They provide the balm that heals whatever has been out of balance within you to help you feel whole again. When is the last time you were loving towards someone when you felt out of sorts?
Now to the tip: the root of all relationships is the human heart. When you speak to your loved one, even if you are out of sorts, try to only use the words, "I feel," or "I feel . . . when . . . because." Leave out the blame. Leave out the accusations. Let yourself be vulnerable and see for yourself what your heart is feeling. It may be as simple as, "I feel really irritated inside when I see the garbage overflowing. I feel a lot happier when things are tidy." Stop there. Say no more. See what happens. After all, it's difficult to approach others in a state of wholeness all the time, so the next best thing we can do is speak from our heart.
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